I feel like I’ve arrived at a slightly strange stage of life.
Not bad. Not dramatic. Just… different.
For years, life has been full - school runs, packed schedules, family life, work, juggling everything and everyone. And then one day you realise something has shifted.
Your kids don’t need you quite as much anymore.
Don’t get me wrong, they still need you. Just… not in the same way.
Suddenly they’re teenagers. They have their own lives, their own plans, their own worlds. And while that’s exactly what you raised them to do, it leaves you standing there thinking:
Well then… what do I do now?
The Busy Trap
If you’re anything like me, the first instinct is to fill that space with work.
More work. More ideas. More projects.
Running a small business means there’s always something to do anyway, so it’s very easy to just keep yourself busy and avoid thinking too much about the shift that’s happening.
But I’ve noticed something recently - being busy isn’t always the same as being balanced.
And if I’m honest, I probably am throwing myself into work a little more than usual right now.
The Hormones Don’t Help Either
Let’s also be honest about something else that tends to arrive at this stage of life…
Hormones!
Perimenopause is one of those things that nobody really prepares you for properly. One minute you’re absolutely fine, the next minute you feel flat, emotional, tired, or just slightly… off.
It’s a strange mix of emotions and energy levels, and it can make you question what you actually want from this next stage of life.
Which is exactly where I find myself at the moment.
So… What Do We Do With Ourselves?
Recently I’ve been having lots of conversations with friends about this.
We’ve been saying the same thing over and over again:
We need hobbies.
Real ones.
Not just work, not just family life, not just running around doing practical things - but something that feels like it belongs purely to us.
For me, Pilates has been on the list. Except every class anywhere near me seems to be permanently fully booked. Which is either a sign that everyone else has reached this stage of life too… or I’m just terrible at booking ahead.
So now I’m considering doing it online instead.
We’ve also talked about starting our regular outdoor walks again - the kind where you go out for some fresh air and come back feeling like you’ve solved most of the world’s problems along the way.
Trying New Things Again
Another thing I keep coming back to is creativity.
I’ve always loved pottery - the idea of making something slowly, with your hands, just for the enjoyment of it. No pressure, no business angle, just learning something new.
And maybe that’s part of the answer.
When life shifts, maybe it’s not about finding something huge or life-changing. Maybe it’s about giving ourselves permission to explore things again.
Trying something new.
Being curious.
Remembering that we’re still allowed to have hobbies.
This Stage of Life Isn’t a Crisis
I actually think this stage of life gets a bad reputation sometimes.
People talk about “midlife crises” or big dramatic reinventions. But for most women I know, it’s much quieter than that.
It’s more like a gentle rebalancing.
Your children are growing up. Your routines change. Your role shifts slightly. And suddenly you’re left with a bit of space that didn’t exist before.
And that space can feel strange at first.
But maybe it’s also an opportunity.
Looking After Ourselves Properly
Something I’m realising more and more is that this stage of life requires us to be intentional about our own wellbeing.
Not just physically, but mentally too.
That might mean:
• going for regular walks with friends
• trying a Pilates class (if you can actually get into one)
• learning a creative hobby
• making time to slow down in the evenings
Or simply creating small moments of calm in the middle of busy days.
The Small Things Matter
Over the years I’ve learned that small rituals make a big difference.
A quiet moment in the evening.
A cup of tea without rushing.
Lighting a candle and giving yourself permission to slow down for half an hour.
They sound simple, but they really do help create a little breathing space in life.
And maybe that’s exactly what this stage of life is about.
A New Chapter
So if you’re in your 40s and you’ve started to feel this shift too - you’re definitely not alone.
It’s not a crisis.
It’s not something to fear.
It’s just a new chapter.
One where we slowly start asking ourselves a slightly different question:
What do I want next?
And honestly… I think that might actually be quite exciting.
